Back To The Roots
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 • 11:39 PM • 0 comments

It's been hours but I still do have that post vacation excitement. I rarely do have one, If I do, they weren't dedicated to any out of town trips. Most of my vacation or long weekends (if I dont have any freaking nerve wracking OT) were all well spent at home---in my room, sleeping or going around the net. So bum and boring.

It's my Lolo's first death anniversary and my Lola's third death anniversary or waksi. So all the members of the fambam should be present. My family and I already planned the days in between by visiting Vigan, Ilocos Sur and other famous places of Ilocos Norte. Most summer of my childhood were spent at Ilocos but we rarely do have time to visit the places. And as I child,the adventure can be found in the backyard with my cousins while throwing dirt to each other hahaha!

We visited Vigan first. We arrived too early so we spent an hour or two in a transient before going around the place. The things that I've read about Vigan were not bull. It's really nostalgic and time defying! It will make you wonder about the old times, about the people who walk on that same spot, the way they live their lives without technology around---how simple everything is yet holds a sight not meant for words. I wonder. After exploring other roads and Calle Crisologo, which is actually not too long cause they were all just round about, we rode a kalesa! I am so elated by that. I was 4 years old when I first rode a kalesa in Laoag. The second time was during college days when we explore Luneta and it was just a short trip. Now, I rode a kalesa for two hours!

It's fun cause you'll able to go sight seeing without being in a hurry and it only cost 150 pesos per hour. You could even visit almost all the good sights with that. We went to Baluarte, Bell Tower, Dancing Fountain, their pottery, christmas village and more! We also got to eat Sinanglaw which is super best with fried rice with lots of garlic (Im drooling!). After that we took almost an hour ride up to Paoay---our hometown.

I could literally enumerate how lots of things changes since our grandparents died. The backyard with their used to be stock room and piggery became the bigger bathroom. It holds lots of memories cause I can still remember how I tiptoe my way just to see my Lola's pigs eating or sleeping. I like it when they're snorting whenever we call them. The bathroom that we've been using when we were kids is now an open kitchen. The used to be open kitchen is cleared out of the corner. But the most evident change that I felt is the truth that my grandparents were not there anymore. At least last year we have a body to mourn for, but now we can only rely to our lingering memories that I hope someday will not fail. The weekends are for their anniversary and each of that day bring tears. We know they dont want to be remembered sulkily but not being able to see the people you love and care about always makes me sad.

After the sad days, my cousins and I visited Malacanang of the North and Paoay Sand Dunes. We even went to the beach! I dont really know how to swim but I've got lots of love for water. I dont even care if I became darker because of the sun. And on our last night, we went to the Perya where I spent lots of my coins for some few treats.The treats can be bought by the store, but that is such a bore. It can never replace the excitement and the little teasing that you can get when you didn't win at all haha! I had fun this short vacation. Where my roots are, I know I'll always have fun.

Here's a short vlog about our recent trip :)

And some photos!

Best of 2015
Friday, January 1, 2016 • 3:31 AM • 0 comments

The last page of 2015 was finally done, another chapter was closed. Happy New Year everyone! Hoping you all had a good celebration with your whole fambam :) Last year was a roller coaster ride certainly not only for me but also for everyone. But what I like about New Year (no matter how cliche it maybe to say) is that you have the choice to start again. It's a gesture that no matter how difficult things are for you right now, there's a reason to smile and to celebrate. It may just be in a simple way but that's perfectly okay. Things may be far from ideal or you're in a low point in your life, but on this day, you get to choose to be happy.

2015 was not really a perfect year filled with happy things, but hey almost every year is like that. But then again, as the new year approached, there were things and people that should be left behind for us to grow to be the best version of ourselves. And nowwwwww, I had the chance to reflect on how 2015 treated me. This sounds refreshing haha! I never got to do this last year. As you can see, I only had few entries the whole year. This is so not me! But juggling working life and my lazy self, it's kinda too hard. I regret that I didn't go out more, invite friends or fams or do something adventurous/life changing/something new. It seems like I did let another year pass without any good remembrance. And this is not what I imagined it to be haha!

But thankfully, I did gain something---more on something personal. I learnt about my feelings more, what I wanted to do and dont. There were certain times that Im feeling guilty towards some people when I opposed to their choice that coincides with their feelings; I learnt that it's not being selfish. It is more of imposing what you allow people to tick on your well being. And crying fits. If the world is too much to beat at the exact second, it's never embarrassing to cry or feel about it. I dont wanna make my life a paving hell just because people cant handle vulnerability, puhlease! *rolled eyes*

So okay, here goes my video of my best of my 2015 a.k.a photos-turned-into-videos-cause-I-dont-want-my-blog-to-look-like-a-photo-album haha! Happy New Year everyone! May you all have a good 2016 ahead :)

The Christmas Party
Saturday, December 12, 2015 • 12:12 AM • 0 comments

It's my second Christmas Party in Phileco now. For this year our theme is black and white---kinda easier than we had last year but last year's was more alive and happier haha! Truth be told, Im not really in the mood to party cause 1)I feel like it's too early for a Christmas Party 2) Lots of dead air and what's not right before the party 3) I was haggard as hell even before we arrived and 4) Maybe I did expect a lot due to lots of preps that they had.

I was a part of the committee but only upon the party where we need to help on registration but it was downright crazy even before we arrived the venue. So we went out earlier cause we need to pick up the lechon only to wait for about 2 hours (for pick up and chopping!) and to fight the crazy traffic all the way. I feel so tired and dirty that I didn't wanna put on my clothes for party haha I was really opting to just go home. But then, responsibilities.

The registration is even crazier! The stubs, the names, the list, the people all sums up our stress right before everyone is safely accommodated on their respective sits. I didn't took a lot of photos too cause I dont know hahaha! Im just busy taking some videos and not in the mood for photos :p The only thing that made the atmosphere more elated than before is everyone's involvement, even those people from site. But still a Merry Christmas for the whole company! :)

Some of the highlights of the night that I made as a Vlog.

Mother's 55th!
Monday, September 21, 2015 • 10:53 PM • 0 comments

Monday, September 21st of the month and I was elated. Aside from having a leave on work, today's my Mother's 55th birthday and we planned to visit The Manila Ocean Park. It was then during our high school days when we talked about visiting the place. Back then, the place is not yet that huge and the attractions are mainly sea animals. It expanded more today so I guess, it's actually fine that we had our first visit there today.

I actually love family day! Far from what I enjoy during my teenage years, but having a family day once in a while is kinda special now. Everything really became different when every kid in house grew up and starting to build their own lives unlike before when everyone's dependent to their parents.

My parents posing in front of the  Manila Ocean Park :)
We went out early cause we dont wanna go home late haha! The traffic around the Metro is really crazy now so it would be a burden staying out late no matter how prepared you are that day. We went at Luneta first cause it's too early and the ocean park is not yet open. There were only few people. Most are kids practicing arnis and photographers. I dont know if it's because weekday or it's just not everyone dont find any amusement at Luneta now.

Enjoying lugaw haha!

With le parents :)

Back when I was a kid, there were lots of people there. You cant even have a photo without anyone at your back. And the photographers do have a booming business there. But today, everything's so rare. We do had the chance to have a photo taken by a photographer there and he said that their business is now "matumal" because 1)people dont invest their money having their photo taken anymore and 2) almost everyone own a camera phone or a digital camera. But it's their way of living so they cant just drop it off.

Tried my very best for this shot hahaha but I guess it went good :D

After spending some time, we finally went to Manila Ocean Park. It was like a big aquarium, a counterpart of submarine in a land form! I do have fun taking photos of the sea animals, fishes and like. But I like the best is their Toy Museum, Fish Spa & Winter Wonderland! The Toy Museum brought the child out of me. But even before, our relatives and even y friends keep on telling that Im child like. Well, I guess that happens a lot when you didn't outgrew your childhood ways haha :p

My Preciousssss~
"And with great power comes with great responsibility"
“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” 

We dine out after visiting every attraction. We wanted to do more but it's getting a bit late and we're all exhausted from walking and eating. We passed by the used to be old Manila and it's kinda rainy. I got sentimental again, which always happen everytime I remember something or whenever I have a good day.

I never thought I'll have this day. I can still remember when we celebrated my Mom's 40th birthday like it was yesterday and now she's already 55. Wow, where did time went by? It was surely fast.

My First Ever Team Building
Friday, July 31, 2015 • 8:25 PM • 0 comments

It really amazes me how many things I experienced for the first ever since I started working. When I was young, I thought working life would be like being thrown in the real world, filled with workaholic people who only talks about how they hate it and would only crave for money and success. Well, at this moment, it was not at all.

Our company organized a team building for us and it was scheduled last July 25-26, 2015 which falls on Saturday and Sunday. Truth be told, I was not really looking for it because it will ruin my rest days. It also happened that I was sick during that week, making me absent for 2 days just before the event. Im still not in a good condition to join but since it was mandatory, I had no choice but to get up and participate. *insert whining self here haha*

The place is not too far and it has a nice ambiance. The air is cold, far away from pollution and noise of the capital. Suburbans life really is a must try! We first had a relay. And that was the most frightening one for me. I just passed out right before finishing it. I didn't even get to try wall climbing because Im afraid that I'll lose my consciousness again. I had fun cheering with my officemates, tho :)

My favorite part is our activity during our first night. It was like a seminar but a very interactive one where you get to understand yourself, the other people and your differences with each other. Though Im really not the type to mind or act about others different behavior (or foul behavior perhaps), I really appreciated that I can see it in a different perspective. I learned that seeing things differently and attacking in a way far different from others shouldn't be taken personally to you or to others. It really do makes sense when you try to understand people and not to judge them hastily without further knowledge as to why they were doing things like that. The second day was just full of sharing, games and exploring the area. Im still glad that I experienced this.

Credits to Kuya Aries & Ate Amsy for the photos :)

Sunday, June 14, 2015 • 10:40 PM • 0 comments

Last week, I had a chance to meet my college best friends again. For me, this is a must needed break. I can still remember the past few months filled with my cloudy thoughts about work and over time. During that phase, I only wanted to sleep. I couldn't even answer text messages and online PMs if they were not work related. Cause my reason will always be, "Im busy" which in my defense is true.

In this stage, it's kinda hard to find the time to meet. Most of the time, we only resort to scheduling our meet ups months before we see each other. Albeit it's long time planning, sometimes we still can't push it due to some circumstances. This time around, after a month long planning, it finally happened!

I was stuck in the traffic jam on my way to BGC and that left my bitching rest face game on until I saw my friends. It dawned on me that I actually do miss them. We had a lot of fun---from karaoke, horror movie 'til timezone. We started the day with eating and ended up with eating too haha! It shows so much the fun things that we enjoy doing during college days.

Today, I happened to look into my collection of old photos with them. I cant imagine that it's been 6 years since we started college. I can still remember our silly times, the petty fights, the up and down of studying and the bond that we formed through those years, Looking back, I really wonder where did the time went. Cause I swear, I remember everything like it was yesterday.

Im always open to the fact that it was because of them that I stayed. During those trivial times when I really wanted to shift to another course, they were the ones who motivated me and with them, we finished that one long hard fight. We may not see each other as often as we like, but the connection and bond never gets tarnished nor changed. I hope we could stay like this until we're old :)

 At the California Pizza Kitchen. We took a long walk under the scorching heat of the sun because we only want to eat pizza hahaha!
 Karaoke feels tho we still love the good old Karaoke Hub at SM Sta.Mesa. We miss our spot there, same with Mcdo haha!
 Mirror vanity shot, as always :p
 Someone always have to make a wacky shot in a cutesy photo. Always. Hahahaha!
 Hya, Nile and Det :)
 Matchy matchy clips with my Nikki Loves!
Pre-food coma shot hahaha!

The First of Summer
Sunday, April 19, 2015 • 3:25 AM • 0 comments

It’s been getting awfully hot lately. That just means summer is really around the corner. And being in a lola mode lately, I never really had any plans for summer. I can’t stay up past 2 am anymore.  I just wanted to sleep or dwell in my books because it's scorching hot outside and I refused to get sweaty and kaartehan stuff care of my ever maarte self haha! Clearly, I only want a staycation which is normally acceptable if you were a student finishing their final exams. Seems like Im not over that phase yet :p

But you know, it's not everyday that you get a break especially if you're already working. Holidays and bagyo related announcements don't give in to you religiously. So whoever invented company outing must be a genius LOL! Kidding aside, it is my first company outing ever and also a first out of town trip without my parents (if I must say hehe!).

Imagine a quiet time in a resort,sunbathing as you listen to the crashing of the waves across the shore and that smell of peace with tangy provincia vibes is so overwhelming! We had a long travel to reach the venue---Puerto Del Sol at Bolinao, Pangasinan. We're all sleepy on our way but became giddy and excited as time goes by. We had a land tour and we got a chance to visit the Patar beach,Wonderful Cave and Cape Bolinao Lighthouse. I had the time to enjoy the infinity pool and the outdoor jacuzzi which for me is the coolest among their facilities. 

On our second day, we had games which was really so fun. Scratches on my legs, fear of prickly heat and my-sweaty-self didn't bother me much compared to what Im thinking. I guess you will start to drop all your kaartehan once you get comfortble and started to have fun. Well, that is what vacation and summer outings are all about right? :)

Okay, so it's not my first time to make a Vlog but it's been a long since I made one. I think the last time was May 2012 when we went to Ilocos for a swim. That long already. I also made this one since I cant upload every photo in here cause the blog post will be too long and I dont wanna make an album here haha!

Here are some of the photos that I took while we're having our stay there :)

Because Rumors
Saturday, April 4, 2015 • 10:31 PM • 0 comments

Hello everyone! Today I just finished watching Pinocchio. It's a korean drama that I've been trying to watch for months now. Since I don't have an ample time, I've been watching it during my lunch break or when I went home not yet feeling sleepy. 

I find this drama interesting. I actually find k-dramas really do interesting because of their unique plot line. But this one is really intense. It's a drama about the reality behind the media, the power of words, how an assumption without any solid evidence can ruin a person's life and most importantly rumors. This kind of story is really timely! The drama did an excellent job in depicting the job and the world of reporters. It makes viewers think twice before believing that whatever the news said is of complete truth and it also teaches us a lesson on how rumors, words and assumptions can hurt someone more than what we hope to. 

Something that never really goes away, whether you’re still in grade school or working already, is that word has a way of getting around. People will talk about you whether you like it or not. Just based on one picture, people can already can come up with a dozen of stories. It’s not worth the time to even pay attention to them. It does sometimes hurt hearing unpleasant things about yourself but you know the truth. But what if the truth gets twisted and manipulated? What if in the midst of reality, the real truth is tainted and no one believes in you because they were fed up with what they heard first? That's the thing about rumors and assumptions. People mostly believe with what they heard first and spread the words like it's nothing, leaving the the other party in a defenseless state. 

Remember the quote from William Shakespear in his play Henry IV, part 2 way back our high school literary classes? It says:

Rumour is a pipe blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures and of so easy and so plain a stop that the blunt monster with uncounted heads, the still-discordant wavering multitude, can play upon it.

Simple as, it's easy to spread rumours, because the least little thing will fuel the rumour, and the 'sound' will swell and swell until it cannot be stopped, and everyone can 'play' it. It's a cycle where all of us will play and no amout of sincere apology will make it better once a person's life is already in ruins. That's how powerful those words are.

And I guess, some of us really need to be open minded more than ever now that we all have the power to spread harm beause social media is really an easy deal for all us. We should keep in mind that we all have different perspectives to what is considered acceptable and we shouldn’t judge other people’s preferences and much more, create something that will ruin them just because it isn't acceptable to yours. Remember, words ar powerful. Atleast be responsible to yours. 

(c) dramafever

Sunday, March 15, 2015 • 9:54 PM • 0 comments

Have you ever had those days when just trying to breathe was a struggle? I’ve become too familiar with that feeling lately. The usual office hours then going home and sleeping right after made me feel sick and sad. I didn't have the luxury of time to read anymore. I bought lots of books and they are almost half way down! I haven't finished making my scrapbooks nor haven't had the free time draw. If I do have time to watch some shows, it's the internet that will keep me informed.

So here I am, like that 13 year old me trying to survive life through blogging. When I was in high school, having a diary became my necessity. But because Im too lazy to write and I find it inconvenient, I tried blogging. And trust me, it really do help!  In those years of growing up, I tried hard so much to write everything that matters to me--- may it be pain, happiness, a simple photo or just nothing what-abouts of my teenage dilemma. And today, my blog is still my absorber. Writing has always been the best tool for me to let my emotions out. I don’t write to show off to my friends or to others, I write for myself. The feeling you get once you’re able to let everything off your chest is refreshingly painful.

With all the hustle and bustle of the real world, Im glad I found my way to write and blog again. There's nothing special about this day. Nothing to be happy nor to be sad about. But in the period of nothingness, I still find comfort in this. Maybe this is really just a phase. The next time you’re having one of those days when you’re feeling down, know that you’re not alone. It’s inevitable that it will happen. If nothing ever went wrong then how will you ever appreciate the good? Maybe you will get into a fight, maybe you will lose something important, maybe people will talk about you, maybe you will lose a loved one, and maybe not everything will always go your way. Sometimes things have to get bad in order to get better. Maybe what we need is to take our time to sort things out then pick ourselves up again and be ready to face the world head on. 

Maybe it will help.

In My Remembering
Sunday, February 8, 2015 • 10:04 PM • 0 comments

It was almost over but still the sudden attack of loneliness filled with happy childhood memories will visit me once in a while. It was a nostalgia, a happy one until I reached the end. The end--- I dont know if it's the end of the memories that I got with people or the end of their lives; nevertheless, I knew it wasn't a happy one.

January 30---that day will never be the same again, not in my lifetime. And no matter how I try to shrug it off, I will always be reminded of that day's significance in my life. Suddenly you became a part of my remembering, only to that extent.

I can't believe that today I'll talk about my grandfather in the past tense. It's strange.
Me being the jeje apo with Lilo  and my other Lolas and pamangkin :D

Every photo that I had, every summer vacation theme journal that I made for school, every fun memories that sums up my whole childhood includes him. And suddenly he was gone. As I sit on the couch trying not to spoil the party mood that my co workers were having, I tried to remember when the last time was I had seen my grandfather. I think it's a natural thing to do when someone dies. 
Lilo, my cousin and I striking for a photo last May 2013 after our grad celeb at the ancestral house :)

The memories were so vivid that sometimes I'm wondering if it's really nostalgia. Every summer vacation, Lilo together with Lila welcomes us with open arms and with his little laughter that I will always remember. How he loves it when we're playing with our little cousins and being childlike creatures who never thought of growing up. How cute he is whenever we welcome a new member of the family. The little ones and apo sa tuhod were super spoiled! My Lilo is super funny as well that sometimes Im wondering if he's aware that he's that funny.

Lila, Lilo and his sister with my Tito :)

During my toughest times while studying and no matter how shitty I feel about myself, it seems like they were made to make me feel better, to remind me of my hard works and to say how proud they are as our grandparents. I never expressed the gratitude but deep in my heart, Im always thankful to them--- for believing in me and for giving us bigger things that were deemed simple for them.

Whenever I think about the future, I can't help but cry because I know Lilo won't be present in any of our biggest life events. He'll never get to see them. He won't be there when I get my first real house, first real persons, first anything that Im currently working now. I can't even bring someone to meet him and gain his approval. How I wish I could also give back.

Every vacation won't ever be the same anymore. I understand this is the way life works--- where the old dies, leaving their family behind---but still it hurts. I could say that my grandfather being in a hospital for about a month made it easier to handle his passing or that he had live a long life and I am an adult so I should be better at accepting loss. But death is never that simple because in my remembering he wasn't dead.
Goofin around with Lilo during Lila's first death anniversary. 
It may hurt for days, for months, years or every remembering time. But I will never ever forget the love you gave us, Lilo. The past few months may not be well, it may not be the best version of you that we wanted to remember but we understand. And despite of it all, we love you as much as you love us. Thank you so much for the support, love and everything. I hope you're finally happy and not hurting anymore now that you're with Lila.

A portrait of Lilo with his favorite cap :) We love you so much General! See you next lifetime :)

Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.