Rememorer
Rambling like you've never seen :))
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 • 9:56 PM • 0 comments

Im rambling again. Im gonna be okay, I already promised it to myself. I've already work on to "choosing to be happy". This week, duh! I was back to my kablam days. But here I am, short-tempered and hot-headed maybe a little selfish and emotional this week. Im ready to give my snap. Random? Nooo. Why I feel so angry? I dont know. I really need a break cause it seems like my head is going to explode. I need to clear my mind and that thing pissed me off. Im not in the mood to use my blog right now cause I wanna kwento this story to them and to him but it seems like they are not ready to listen to me. I had a feeling that I'm cheated and you can never really guess why. School have my half life since then and I felt na there's nothing left for me. Ughhh, it doesnt mean that I hate school at all. Okay? So I just have it little by little. Pssshh, let me start the story here. No one has any idea of what I've been going through for the past week. The past year, even. I'm on an emotional roller coaster ride. If I try letting go, even for a split second, I'm sure to fall off. Everything's been so crazy. Indescribable. Unpredictable. Unexpected. Decisions have been made, people have been played. Betrayal. Backstabbing. Failing. Falling. Surviving. Overcoming. I don't even know where to start.


-School-


Ay ewan! When I was four, I started to recognize school little by little. But it didnt came to my mind that Im gonna hate it because of this rude teacher. Yes, that is you Mrs. Atienza. I dont know but it seems like you're a very insensitive person. You're more than a CAT teacher. We are force to be insensitive also. Apathy! Ano ba? I just cant find your logic why dont you want us to laugh eventhough the scene is funny. You only want us to laugh when you make pa epal your ewan jokes. Damn! Damn! Damn! Sorry for the word. But this is what I feel. Did she experience to be a student? I hate you sooo much. I cant understand you. You really make me feel that a melancholic one can never be accepted by nation. Be considerate even a little please. Im dying to know what your purpose is but I dont wanna ask you why cause I know you'll answer me in a very nonsense answer, "gusto ko lng kayo matuto". Uggh..desperate, students are different now. Please take it. We want a friendly teacher for us to able to learn and enjoy school. But because your rude, the students are getting nervous and they have chills all over their body and they are force to study. But this learnings will only take a little room to learn because the whole room was occupied by fear. I know you cant read this one but Im just opening my heart out!!!!!!! We are not perfect but your not perfect too.



-Friends?-

I thought.. Okay its only a stupid thought. But then I wanna finish this one now. Yeah, Im getting too lame now cause Im totally pissed off. I know that my friends are not perfect. I have so many friends in my previous years in West but only a few remain standing. I discovered soo many issue blahs. Well, eventhough some of them considered me as their friend (I considerd them too, k?) they shouldnt give a huge kick on my personal life. I didnt ask for some advices for my personal life ever since. And Im not giving my permission to anyone even to my close friends. Ano ba? If your my friend you'll just let me have my life no matter what. I dont wanna mention names because I dont want them to feel that Im angry to them. No, not at all. Im angry on their effin works not on them directly. Im not asking much really.


-Family-

Im always the wrong one. My wants right now are actually what i need, i think. I think they cant understand me. As the days goes by Im starting to have my heart craving for architecture and interior designing course. But its malabo na, cause they disagree. I cant make them approve. I'll be forever hanging and frustated. Ugghh... wasted life! Im lifting this up to you God. I dont know what to do now. I dont wanna disappoint them but I want to be happy also. I want them realize that Im doing this for them. Please tell me your plan GOD. I know I'll find it soon. :). I want to be optimistic eventhough Im not happy at all.



-Him-


I talked to Feb about this one. As usual, shared experiences. I cant post the image cause the conversation is too long. :(. Feb asked me what if you like someone but then you discovered that he is taken. After you make papansin to him and offered everything him.HAHA! Desperate! So what can I say? Of course I'll be disappointed. Then Feb told me that she cant look to his eyes directly cause your afraid that he is thinking that your too ugly. I dont care. Is he handsome? HAHA! He is such a judgemental moron if ever. Then he hold your hand and you got kilig and go gaga about that precious moments? So what can I do? Of course nothing, you cant bring back those times. HAHA! Well, that's Feb's. Mine, its complicated for me to explain cause I'll be in big trouble if ever I'll put his name here. Cause I know that his die hard fans will go hysterical again. But then LOVE conquers all :)).





Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.