You always think that I am STRONGER :|
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 • 2:22 AM • 0 comments

Im rambling again about the things that my parents cant understand. I hope they can understand what I really mean everytime I cry, everytime I tell them what I feel, everytime I make my self invisible. I dont wanna think of generation gap again. Its such a waste of time. I just want their support and understanding. Is that so hard to give?

We went to DOST this morning and we got our application form. I saw the list of courses and oh man, they sucks. I dont even know something about those thinggos. They told me that I should so that I can have extra money. I'll work na lng. I am planning to be a working student. I want to pay for my own tuition fee. But how can I do that? They dont even permit to go in my classmate's birthday party. I'll forever stuck on their shoes. I also want to be a scholar, but to push me in something that I dont want is too much. I dont even know what would I take. Yes, I am coward. I am coward cause I am afraid to fail. I am so afraid of them. That's all.

Preparing for college life is not easy as playing jackstone. Everything is back to zero. Different personalities will come your way. And in this early time I am praying that College life will be friendly to me. I dont want to take Engineering and Math courses. I dont want to fail. I know everything will not be easy. Im too pressured now. I know eventhough they keep on telling me that its okay, deep inside them they were hurt. But how can I choose. Between my family and career is such a mess. I'll follow them then what, I will fail. Its so hard to study things that you're not interested to. I disappointed them. And it hurts. Eversince, Im a child I always follow what they want eventhough I look like a fool. Crazy, yes I am.

I hope that they could leave it to me. I dont know if they trust me or not. I dont know if I cry or not. They told me not to cry anymore. How can I make apathy creep on me? Oh God, please help me. Im pickle minded now. I have loads to solve but I cant. Hope you could help me.

Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.