Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 • 2:39 AM • 0 comments

Mixed Emotions! Drama is bragging me since last week. I am getting random again. I kinda hate whats happening now. All the schemes are connected and my hues are getting blotted. I am getting bored with my everyday activities eventhough reports and school take all the pressure on me. And after that, I will sit in front of this PC doing nothing but to keep on browsing different sites. So, here I go again. Draining whats inside, freaking out the night, screaming whats inside my heart, sneaking through this blog and posting everything I hate and how my stupid brain works this out. I dont wanna be super addicted and brags all my heartaches here. But what can I do? Well, I am not fishing any compliments here, all I need is some comments or help. :)

I am so inis to "fuida". Omygod! She is really a pain in the ass. I dont know she always want to degrade my self esteem. She's not giving any encouragement at all. And it seems like she's pigging out everything that I have. I am not mad. I dont want to be mad. Its just a lot of people noticed it already but she keeps on telling the world that, "hey! Can I pig everything you have?" Weirdo. : All I think is that whenever Im beside here I am the worst dummy ever.

Addition to that is her ever dearest freak. So she's better than fuida. The thing is she always put me in shame. I am so fuck whenever she laughs at me or call me stupid. I know that I should not take it seriously but you know the drill, I am so sensitive. Well, hip to be here! :) So I just wanna forget it. This thing may sounds unfair to them cause I am using different codenames.

All I really want to say is that I am confused. I am confused between my him and him. My him is my first love :>:>:> Then it suddenly fade away, I thought. The feeling came back when I saw everything about him. I am often sad and I will try to forget him. But whenever the night is warm and very approaching the feeling is coming back. It is like a routine. I always fall for him eventhough I am so tired of waiting. Someone asked me about this thing and I was like getting hysterical. I cant say something so it ended up with a nonsense nod :)) So, do I still love him?

The other one is I met months before, actually will be a year in just a matter of two months. I only browse his account long long ago. Then I know that he is commited but still its complicated. I dont wanna fall for him cause I know misery will come soon. So I dont know what to do.

I wanna stick with my him but he always make me feel bad. But I know that if you love a certain person you should not count his good sides rather than his mistakes. And we are not yet commited so I should not assume something from him unless were legal. I am so confused. :(

Why do we like to hurt so much?

Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.