We Make Such Fools Of Ourselves
Monday, July 13, 2009 • 5:29 AM • 0 comments

This is really a nightmare. Im still confused, random and I got no clue what to do. Every Monday, I always feel that I'm haunted. I messed up. Big time! Wish I could press rewind and erase everything. Oh I'm so back to my kablam days!

Yeah like now... It seems that all I ever think about is that test, that reaction, that feeling and that incident resulting to hallucination. Omy Anoooo ba yun? We had our test a while ago in Accounting and as always Im super nervous. In the handbook my equivalent is 2.25. And yeah everyone was so shock and afraid when we heard our grades. Then I felt relieved but bothered. I knew something like this will happen. And Im so sure of it. Next one is Philippine History and this is oh so cool. Our Professor is maybe out for something so we dont have any test. Oh yeaaahh! :)

Well, I told it to my mom and dad and for the first time they came out as a very loving and supportive parents now. Maybe because they knew that they are the one who chose my course and not me haha. They told me that I should make bawi next time. They told me athat I should strive hard in my midterm, finals, random blahblah.

And what can I say? I agreed. Sorry if I screwed up.

My excuse, my very gasgas excuse? I am so lame yesterday. Im so tamad for everything. I didn't study enough. And its kinda hard (guilty!)

What else is new? Its like the old vain days. Its like I failed then my parents want me to work harder. Well, I really need to know my priorities. Athough Im dying to say "C'mon give me a break." When I suddenly come into my senses, I felt so bad. I should have done better if I study really hard. I know I could have done better. I just really need to shape up.

My parents wants me finish this course and I cant risk it. I wont risk that. I'd rather die than give that up. Seriously, i'd give up a million other things before giving THAT EXPECTATION up. Anything but that. Too bad that's my weakness.

I dont think they understand how important it is to me. Actually, they do but they just dont support me. But well, I am really working out that thing not only for me but for them.

I wont lose everything I worked for. (Although its killing me. Really killing me)

I wont stand up just to be screwed up and killed again.

I am so blahhhhh this day.

Hmmmm, no school for tomorrow. Imma study for my Filipino Class.


Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.