Wednesday, April 7, 2010 • 5:02 AM • 0 comments

My summer vacation is already over. Goodbye sleepless nights. Goodbye unforgettable slack off moments. Goodbye Good Vibes. Hello graveyard! My kiligness is currently subsiding and I'm starting to get emotional, anxious and mad because of school. Staying on this track is really depressing. Easy? Your ass. I really need to study hard.

As of now, I found studying as a scary duty. I'm regretting and I feel sorry for myself cause I didn't make a good decision. How I wish I could go back in time and choose the right course- A course that can appreciate my effort and creativity. I don't like being told what to do.I don't like doing the same thing over and over until the sunshine fades. I don't like talking to a calculator or robot like creatures who keep on mentioning numbers, debit,credit, enterprises, etc. But what else can I do? I am now stuck. Sooner or later, I will quit or maybe if I'm lucky enough, I will finish it. Either way, I'm still gonna die.

I'm having a hard time absorbing everything that I need to know for SQE. I felt so bad after realizing that I might not fulfill my promise to my parents. But I promise to do my best. Nikki will help me in Accounting. I will do everything to pass. I will take the test as if my life depended on it. Right now, I don't have any idea. I'm clueless. I don't know where to start. But I really need to strive hard if I wanna keep this pride. I don't wanna be delay and be trampled.

I don't have any idea on how to motivate myself to study. I have 2 thick books in accounting and an algebra book that I need to study with all my heart. At the back of my mind I know that I'm really hopeless and I'm about to give up. Everyday of my life, reasons that I should really give up spell out in my face. I'm thinking of having a new life. Will life get any better? Oh well, I'm still gonna give it a try. Pass or fail- I don't wanna think anymore. All I know is that everything is planned according to God's will . I shouldn't question it. Maybe that's his challenge for me as a human, as his masterpiece.

This month, I am going to give up my social life, some of my friends and even things I usually love to do just to study for this test. I wont slack off. Seryoso ako, walang tatawa! :(


Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.