Hola Depression!
Saturday, August 21, 2010 • 12:00 AM • 0 comments

Midterms are already over. Thank God, I'm still alive! Now I'm stuck with the idea of having a failure grade. I can't express how disappointed I am to myself. Its like a nightmare. There's no easy way to go- I knew that and I swear to God its in my mind all the time. Its just sometimes in my life, not everything will work out for me- no matter what will I do. Its really not meant to be.

I never knew that College will be hard for me. I never knew that my course will be a death plan. I never knew that I will make my parents sad and worried. I never knew that I will trade my happiness for something bigger than my life. I never knew that my life will change so easily.

My college life began ambitiously by taking Accountancy as my course. My parents rejected my chosen course earlier than I thought. I try to curse everything. But after some time, I became motivated because of my friends. We are sharing the same dilemma after all. I am trying to make my parents proud and happy but it seems like they are more disappointed now :(

Last Thursday, me and my friends cried our hearts out. The reason is normal. We are tired. We are depressed. We are already small for the world. We are too afraid for the future. At the back of my mind, I knew that this is normal. But people cant understand that and I know they never will. To hear complaints with patience, even when complaints are vain, is one of the duties of friendships.

Growing up is too hard. Now I know why grown-ups are starting to make fuss about their lives. I hope I can recover soon. There's no time for me to be sad. Hurt and rejection is part of life. How can I motivate myself? How can I pull my friends up? How long can I keep my faith? I don't know. I'm clueless.


Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.