Fading Strength
Friday, January 28, 2011 • 3:20 AM • 0 comments

Im now caught in the situation that I never imagine in my life. I feel like Im losing my grip to all my hopes, wishes and happiness that already grasped. Why is that its so hard to get what I want? Am I not worthy enough to feel good and happy? Why is that whenever I had a happy time it is always seconded by a sad one? Im so tired and ready to quit life. I wanna believe everything that my friends are saying but that doesn't change the fact that Im slowly losing this battle.

I wanna be happy and celebrate with my friends but I became a burden to them today. I wanna cry so hard and shout because Im really mad and desperate, but I really dont know where to start. I know that my thoughts for today is just an implied words of reality but Im so afraid to let go of the word I've been keeping this day.

Im starting to wonder if I can keep this battle up. Im not expecting to finish it without any scars but rather Im expecting atleast a little chance of survival. I dont know how will I respond to my parents' disappointment, frustration or maybe anger if ever I slip in the mud. Oohhhh~ that's why I hate being sensitive. I wish my heart was made of stone. I wanna evaporate! Right now, all I can do is to do my best and let Papa God do the rest.

Blair Warldorf once said, "Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse for waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen," so now I m gonna take my chance not to rely to destiny or anything. I know I lacked good study habits, self discipline and right amount of positive motivation- and together they spell disaster :|

Crossed-fingers and hoping. Please help me God. I badly need this, I badly want it that I can do everything that it takes to be someone that Im halfway building.

Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.