Na Ottokae?
Friday, April 1, 2011 • 5:34 AM • 0 comments

I dont know if I should publish this post. All I know is that Im too full that I might burst. My heart is full of anger. Its nearly impossible that I can hear you right now. You made a fool out of me.I've been disappointed so many times, not giving a fuck is almost a reflex. But this one is different. Why do people lie and cheat? Is it because they know its easier to get forgiveness than permission?

Its never easy when a friend doesn't tell the truth- especially when you know that they are lying. It is something that is never easy to forget and forgive. I think it would be a lot easier if I know the reasons behind. Leaving me clueless as to what you are thinking and doing makes me mad a little bit more.

At first, Im not believing it cause this drama is such a one sided thing. I honestly dont know what your sides or reasons are. But it suddenly upsets me cause now, I finally knew what the real problem is. You never listen to us. You always fight back the opinions and words that we utter. You never admit that you were wrong. You never say that you were sorry for your mistakes. You always leave as hanging and guilty about the things that concern us. It always YOU and never US.

We tried to solve the some of the issues but I never felt the fulfillment cause as far as I remember, the last time that we had an open forum we were all in shock. We are not even complete at that time. And honestly, I was force to talk cause maybe I can contribute to your good sleep. Plus there were things that I learned this past few weeks that made me feel more upset and disappointed than before.

I know that were times that we need to lie and by that I dont exclude myself. I know that I also hurt you before by not being honest to my feelings and I will be forever guilty about this. And by that, I prefer the truth eventhough its less flattering, eventhough it hurts.

Im really hoping that we can all talk- to resolve the issue, to forget all of these problems, to finally go back to our old days. I know it will be hard for all of us but this is the right thing to do so we can all move on. After summer class, no one knows what will be our fate so it would be great if we can all talk.

P.S I know this is a sensitive topic to post in my blog- very personal, mind you. You find me bitching and dwelling about it- I know that Im being mean. But this is the most possible and easiest way to convey my deeper thoughts. Im sorry if I hurt others' feelings but I mean all the things that I said in here.

Gladys/22 years old/Philippines

Im beyond your peripheral vision and aiming for art school.Im a provinciana girl at heart. I do think too much and contradicts myself most of the time.The internet doesn't speak for itself. There's more than meets the eye.